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Leesisno2
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Name: Hilary
Interests: seeing God work, being a part of God's work, & all the lessons learned . my family . writing . music . basketball . sunny days . cooking/baking . little kids . running .
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
8/7/2004
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| Thou my everlasting portion,
more than friend or life to me,
all along my pilgrim journey,
Savior, let me walk with Thee.
Close to Thee, close to Thee,
close to Thee, close to Thee,
all along my pilgrim journey,
Savior, let me walk with Thee.
Not for ease or worldly pleasure,
nor for fame my prayer shall be;
gladly will I toil and suffer,
only let me walk with Thee.
Lead me through the vale of shadows,
bear me o'er life's fitful sea;
then the gate of life eternal
may I enter, Lord, with Thee.
[Fanny J. Crosby] | | |
| It's so easy to write a blog (or anything, for that matter) when one is in the middle of theory homework. Strange, isn't it?
That being said... yes, school has started again—and honestly, I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. If the past week has been a “premonition” of this semester, I believe I just might keel over and die. Possibly. Dad made me smile when we were driving home from the bus station this morning…You have to be careful, Hil—it’s like you were running two laps, and now you’re trying to run ten. Not quite, but…it is more than two laps. Maybe a little uphill, too.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. I just pray that I will fix my eyes on Jesus, come what may. This semester is going to be tough—that’s for sure—but, by His grace, it’s going to be good. *smile*
(Okay, I really have to get back to theory now. And then I’m going to Zac’s basketball game!!)
The sky is grey and the light is far
The sea is a rage within my heart
I turn my sight to the crashing waves
I cry in the night just to be saved
I need eyes to be my guide
I need a voice that’s louder than mine
I need hope, I need You
Cause I can’t do this alone
Grace I call Your name
Oh won’t Your smile fall over me
I’m cracked and dry on hands and knees
Oh, sweet grace rain down on me
I need You grace
[Phil Wickham]
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| Sometimes I wonder about that expression. Is there such a thing? I feel as if seasons change so quickly—suddenly—and we call it “life.” But do we really know it?
This afternoon, as I sat on the bus looking out the window and hearing Phil Wickham’s “Singalong” in the background, I thought about all the ups and downs and in-betweens of the past week. (Regardless of what I plan for that hour and a half, bus rides generally end up being spent “just thinking.” And looking out the window every once in a while.) This time last week, I was sitting on my little suitcase in the aisle of a bus that held twice as many people as it should have, thinking that it was about time I made some good friends who have cars and go to Buffalo every weekend. This time next week, I will have finished 3 finals, my jury, “all my classes,” and playing with the BPO. [Shameless—or not so shameless—plug: I’m performing a movement of a Mozart concerto with the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra at Kleinhans on Sunday, December 14, at 2:30pm. And I’d love to see you there. *smile*]
I thought about yesterday, which was spent eating a super breakfast with super people, smiling at Facebook wallposts and deleting notification e-mails, proudly cheering my not-so-little brother on at his basketball game, and watching an incredibly cheesy movie with Mom (Evange, we question your recommendations now). It was amazing—but still “unexpected,” in a way, as so much has been of late.
Not to say that it’s all bad or all good…but can we really “know” life? Can we reach a point in time when we’ll just sit back and believe when we say “now this is how ‘normal’ looks” (and would we want to)? Can we realize the joy, pain, laughter, and tears of tomorrow? Do we actually control even half as much as we think we do?
All we can see is just a tiny part of all that is. Yet hallelujah for Hope.
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
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| I love the insanity (like having over 60 people at our house for a sit-down “pre-Thanksgiving dinner” and seeing that my amazing mom is still totally cool about it all).
I love the warmth, as Zac and I sit by the fireplace and attempt to have a jam session (me on the guitar and him on…the basketball, aka drums).
I love the home-cooked food, even when it means we have to burn candles for hours afterwards in valiant—but rather feeble—attempts to “freshen up the house” again.
I love not waking up in the middle of the night because I’m scared that I missed my alarm. And not having my alarm on, for that matter.
I love the fact that Mom and I still go to Bath & Body Works, spend forever in there, then come out with five different scents (whose names we have long forgotten) on our hands and a sense of great accomplishment, having used the coupon/card things that came in the mail to their utmost value.
I love the random discussions we have at the dinner table or in the family room, whether they’re about something we just read in the Bible or…less serious things. *smile*
I love the laughter, when we crack corny jokes or watch one of Evange’s amazing song videos (and wish she were here).
I love sometimes just listening to Dad and Mom—and Zac, of course—talk.
I love being home :)
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| A little while ago I was sitting on a bus (that I nearly
didn’t catch)…thinking about the past week and anticipating the coming one…and
“Your Grace Still Amazes Me” by Phillips, Craig, and Dean came on my ipod. I haven’t heard that song in ages. I stopped writing my other stuff for a minute
and looked out the window—and I saw a pale blue sky, with the sun peeking out
from behind rather ominous gray clouds, shining on rows of trees whose leaves have
been changing color. (Surprise surprise…not all of it is on the ground yet. *smile*) I was in awe.
It was similar to what I felt on Friday as I watched Zac
attempt to somersault into our huge pile of leaves in the backyard, and I realized
how much he’s grown “since our last huge pile of leaves”…or yesterday, as Dad,
Mom, Zac, and I sat around the kitchen table, analyzing the aebleskiver that
Zac and I had just made for brunch. We
wondered if the “filled” Timbit/Munchkin-sized, pancakeish things were, in
fact, smaller than the “empty” ones, as Dad theorized. (Come to think of it, the size difference
could’ve been because Hil made the filled ones, and Zac made the empty ones.
haha.) And—for the 12857th
time—I was grateful that I could be home.
Rewind a few days back, and you have me sitting at a piano
in a practice room, staring at a Bach Fugue.
I suddenly remembered the “agony” (or so it seemed at the time *grin*) of
the whole college application/audition/decision process, and all
that happened around that time. (Has it really been almost a year?) I marveled. I marveled at where I was then and where God has
led me now. Most of the time I’d
desperately tried to “keep my cool” (haha), but sometimes I again became that little
girl who threw her hands up in confusion and frustration, just wanting to quit. Yet despite all that…I’m here. Because of Him.
It seems unreal to think that around half of the semester is
over (maybe that’s what sparked this little reminiscing thing here – haha). I feel like I'm constantly repeating myself, but every time I think about it—and I could go
on—I just…overflow with thankfulness…
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s…” | | |
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